I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize