She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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