Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize