that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I deserve this hangover.
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