Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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