I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize