Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
