i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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