Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
