the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
