Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
