the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
