you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
