Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
