operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
