? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
