you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
