And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
