I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
