so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
