I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
