i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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