you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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