He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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