Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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