Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
