You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
