Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
