dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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