you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
