I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
