I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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