so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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