I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
