Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
