What a fucking waste of an outfit
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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