does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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