i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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