My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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