So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
