Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
