Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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