I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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