You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
