How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize