Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
