I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
