omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
