shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
