Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
