mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
