There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
