He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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