Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
