butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
