somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
