areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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