so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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