garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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