it wasn't lemon gatorade
This girl is more easily done than said...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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