I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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