If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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