I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
